- [Chris] Abernathy checks. - [Joe] Now when Cate gets called in two spots two times, I think a third bluff here would be inadvisable. Cate agrees and as for pocket queens here, I don't see Gavin getting called by a worse hand so she bets she'd kind of be turning queens into a bluff.
- [Chris] Everyone's gonna check around and king ten's gonna be the winner. - [Joe] Queen's no good, can you believe in 2018 queens are still ranked below kings in this game. I think it should be a chop, unreal. - [Chris] We continue ladies night here from Seminole Hard Rock in Hollywood Florida, just outside of Miami. Folded quickly around the button with just Samantha Abernathy. - [Samantha] Raise to 150. - [Chris] Abernathy makes it 150 with queen jack. - [Joe] Jessica Dawley with purple hair and lollipop it's like she went to K pop fantasy camp. - [Chris] Dawley calls with nines. - [Joe] Hello Dawley Casinoslots NZ. - Raise. - [Chris] Minkin makes it 525 with ace jack suited. - Don't get out of line, Sam. - I need you at my table all the time to tell me that. - I'm just letting you know. - Oh my gosh. - I have it, don't do it. - [Joe] Sam is in position but a call here would be kind of out of line. - Remember I made you the Bambi bracelet, - Yeah I still have it. - I'll make you one that says don't punt. - Did you see my cards or no. - No. - Every time you're about to do it you could be like-- - No, just say don't get out of line. - Did you see my cards? - No. I would've told you if I-- - Okay. - I feel like I'm going strong and then there's just this moment, I don't know what happens, it just takes over. - Speech didn't work on you. - It's never worked. - It's like in Billy Madison when he gets the perfect speech and he's like-- - [Chris] Dawley calls, so here's the flop nine ace king and I think that was a beautiful call but she's still gotta lot of work to do to get to the river. - [Joe] What a flop, top pair and a flush draw against bottom set, somebody call Amy Schumer because this is gonna be a train wreck. And women are just as funny as men, am I right? - Are you gonna call me with deuces again? - Thinking about calling pretty light. - I have two over so, we got two more cards. - Do you have threes? - No. - Okay, same suite? I'm gonna do one, gonna do one. - [Chris] She calls. - Promise? - At least one. - [Chris] So Minkin gets there with a club on the turn - [Joe] Now she just has to do dodge the board pairing. - [Chris] A check from Dawley. - [Samantha] Doesn't feel as good as when you're right about queen high call or something, you know what I mean? It's just kind of like-- - [Chris] Fifteen hundo. - [Samantha] Okay, I didn't do it this time. - [Chris] Bet from Minkin. - No, hero folds make you more money but hero calls just feel so good. - [Samantha] Yeah, that's what it is. - [Joe] I think Jessica is now gonna feel compelled to raise, to get it in before another club can come. What she doesn't know is that the clubs have already done the damage. - [Chris] All in in a very quick call. Oh, yikes. - I have a set. - You have sixes? - [Chris] Run of twice has been denied so Dawley's gonna be looking for that paired board or for the last nine. And she finds it, oh that's nice. - [Joe] Ouch Kelly Minkin but the good news is that the office fax machine lives to see another day. - No shortage of big pots here tonight. Kelly Minkin unlucky there to be on the wrong end of a cooler. - Worry not we've got dogs and wine at the table which is the cure for just about everything. - [Chris] Welcome back to Poker Night in America with Joe Stapleton it is Chris Hanson and this is lady's night. - [Joe] You know I don't want to be the one to say this but how come there's no man's night on Poker Night in America. Pretty soon it's gonna be like illegal to be a man. - [Chris] Every other night is man's night, I believe. - [Joe] They don't call it that. - [Chris] Poker Night in America actually the very first poker show to have an all female cash game on television. It's already been three years ago. - [Joe] That's fun. - [Chris] Fun facts, that's what I'm all about, buddy. - [Joe] I can't believe they let me commentate it. - [Player] You can take a break any time you want. - [Player] We've been going back and forth. - [Chris] Jamie Kerstetter got us started with the raise to 425. Natasha Mercier called. - I just don't like to play so long. - [Chris] Gavin calls. Minkin with ace seven suited is for sure to call and she does. - Guess I'll wait till Jess gets back. - [Joe] Hey good news for Lexy Gavin, she can't lose this time. - [Chris] Well she could but it would be one of the ugliest run outs of a board that we've seen on Poker Night in America. - [Joe] Probably the ugliest. Jamie bets 1,100, my guess is she'll be one and done after she gets called in every spot. - [Chris] Couple of calls, build this pot up to 5,000 dollars. Eight of diamonds comes on the turn. - [Joe] Jamie's picked up a draw now. I don't think she can keep firing at this. Natasha Mecier attempting to protect her equity in this hand, or her perceived equity and stop some random over cut from coming, but nah. I think for Lexy Gavin the move here is to just call there aren't a lot of hands that could call a raise. - [Chris] Call and that should be quitsville for Jamie Kerstetter. - [Joe] Bye Jamie. So any card but a ten on the river is a good card for Natasha. And I think Gavin has got to bet this it's way too easy for Natasha to check behind. - [Chris] Two ways to think, you either bet where she's not gonna believe you and calls or you bet so much where she doesn't believe you and calls. (laughs) - [Joe] And not even a moments thought insta fold for Mercier and you gotta show the flop quads. Can I make a motion that this be the only Gavin allowed on the show henceforward. - [Chris] Good amount of action tonight on Poker Night in America with... Chips flying all over the table. - [Joe] Straddle is on, Sam Abernathy putting in 100 dark. Kelly Minkin with some fun suited connectors. - [Dealer] 800. - [Joe] Aces for Mercier, when Natasha's husband was last on the show he played four hands and they were all aces. - [Chris] Guess they're keeping it in the family then. - [Joe] Yeah. Quite the gene pool that baby's gonna have. - [Chris] Flop is six ace ten. - [Joe] Dangerous flop for Kelly. She's likely to call one bet and she's drawing virtually dead. - [Chris] If she does call that one bet it is 800. As predicted there go the chips, here comes the turn. Six of hearts, Minkin drawn dead. - [Joe] Check check. - [Chris] An eight. - All in. - [Joe] Mercier jams and this feels like a fairly trivial fold. - I knew it was nine ten. - Oh, that's funny. - Except it was suit. Natasha doesn't play suit cards. - [Chris] Mercier takes down another pot, this one worth 8,100 bucks. - Should we play the slow roll game or is that me? - I hate that game. - [Player] Kelly loves everything. - You love just everything. - I mean I'm the one that's losing the most I feel like I can bring it out. - Slow roll game you mean we square with each other? - Yeah. - I'm in. - [Kelly] I'm doing it, just don't take it personally. (laughter) - [Joe] This whole slow roll thing sounds like a recipe for a life long grudge. - [Player] If it's a big pot, I will do this. - [Player] I don't care about small pots at all. - [Player] But it's not fun if it's small. - [Chris] My problem is, I'd love to slow roll somebody but I never have the winner, so it's virtually impossible for me to slow roll anybody at the table. I just keep waiting for it to happen. - [Joe] Really tough to do if you're not showing down winners. - [Chris] Yeah, I never do. - [Joe] Samantha taking a flyer here in position. Top pair for Sam, diamond for no one. I'm sure there's some kind of engagement ring joke to be made here but I feel like I've made enough enemies today. - [Chris] Dawley bets 600. - [Joe] She is up and down and has got two overs. - [Chris] Turn is a deuce. - [Joe] Jessica Dawley not slowing down. - [Chris] Now 1,100 from Jessica Dawley. - [Player] Raise 2,500. - [Joe] Well this is gonna let her know where she's at pretty quick. Sam Abernathy bluffing with the best of it. B-bye. - Nice bluff. - You saw it in my eyes? - Yeah. - I feel like she's bluffing that I have nothing. - Welcome back once again to Seminol Hard Rock and after our first evening of play we see that most of the table is up just a little bit here or there. Mostly to the chagrin of Kelly Minkin who could, let's be honest use a little run good. - [Joe] Make sure you tune in next time because ladies night continues on to the after party which I have still not been told the location of. - [Chris] If you want more Poker Night in America we have a new free social poker app that you can download and have your own poker night with your friends. It's been updated to now include Omaha plus some lucky player will win a seat on our show. So download that today on Apple or Android and it's totally free. Also, be sure to follow our social media accounts including Youtube and Twitch where you can see full episodes, live streams, and exclusive content. For everyone here at Poker Night in America he's Joe Stapleton I'm Chris Hanson, thanks for watching. - Been blocking the only bluff I beat, should I call? - I don't even know what that means, honestly. (laughs) - [Player] I believe that. - [Chris] Poker Night in America is brought to you by Kimo Sabe Mezcal, Sit & Go 2.0, and Dober Games.
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- [Chris] From Seminole Hard Rock in Hollywood, Florida this is Poker Night in America. (bright upbeat music) - Hello and welcome to Poker Night in America, I'm obviously Chris Hanson, alongside Joe Stapleton. - And together, we are Christasef Hapleston. - Joe, we've talked about this. I told you before. I don't want to be a power couple with you.
This is borderline harassment. And here we go! It's time for ladies night with the buy-ins, and average buy-in usually between five to ten thousand. Oh, look at this, they're all five or ten, but Cate Hall has come in 15 because she's a baller. - [Joe] Gotta have that table covered. - Dude, my firstborn is lucky to have pets first. Or one of them would be named like Pizza and Croutons. (laughter) - [Joe] Crouton is Jamie's dog. - My dog's name is Patron. - Patron (laughs) - Yeah, seriously. - That's awesome. - [Joe] You know Patron is Spanish for a male boss? Hashtag feminism. - [Player] Runs away and-- - [Samantha] No El Chapo Actually I want to make it a pig, and name him El Chapo. - [Chris] A call from Kelly Minkin. Jamie Kerstetter calls. - The next thing you know I've got this giant pig. - [Chris] So we'll have three players to the flop, it's four nine ten. - [Joe] And Jamie has flopped the best with the worst. - Warthog (laughs) - [Player] Samantha Abernathy Killed by a pet pig. - [Player] It rolled over. - [Player] Exactly. - Smothered her to death, what a way to go out. - Jess, you're not drinking wine? - Who wants wine, I don't want this glass that is next to me - [Chris] Turn was five. - [Joe] Abernathy calling that flop bet with two overs and a gut shot, misses the turn. - [Player] Sam needs one for sure. - [Player] You too? - [Joe] Interesting double barrel here from Minkin. - [Player] Oh I wasn't, no. They just brought it and they put a glass by me. - Why are you such a pusher? - Not trying to get you wasted. (laughter) - I was like, wait a second. - I just want you guys to do whatever you want with my drink - I know. - Cheers though. - You have cards Sam, you know that? - Oh, I'm sorry. - [Dealer] No problem. - I'm sorry, raise. (laughs) - It's not even-- - [Joe] Ah the Pinot Grigio monsters have been unleashed. - [Chris] Just one caller and Kerstetter and the river is a seven. - [Joe] Top pair's still good for Jamie but that's gonna look like a bad card for her. Will Kelly try to bluff this, I don't think she expects to get called by a worse hand. - [Chris] 3,225 is the bet from Minkin coincidentally the amount that Kerstetter has left in her stack. - [Joe] I do not think she can fold top pair at this point. It's one of the drawbacks of buying in for only five k. You can end up all in on your first hand. - Blocking like the only bluff I beat, should I call? - I don't even know what that means honestly. (laughs) - I believe that. - [Chris] And Kerstetter makes the right call. - Nice hand. - Thanks. - Smart, smart. - They say you look so little. - [Joe] Pocket fours for Cate Hall. Boy, Lexy Gavin is so much more pleasant than the usual Gavin we have on this show. - [Chris] Kings. - [Joe] And she's probably a better player too. (laughs) - [Chris] Action coming back around to Kate. - I'm gonna be in your head for like an hour. - [Chris] Cate Hall had the biggest stack when we started the night. - Everything is so funny to you. - [Chris] So the raise to 450 can be D to her. And the flop is five six three, she's open ended now. - [Joe] Potentially dangerous yet hopeful flop for Cate. - Do you know what you started the hand with. - Ten, 1,075 or something. - [Chris] 500 the bet. - [Joe] Just over half pot, seem like a pretty good spot for a call. - [Chris] Here comes a raise to 1350. - [Joe] A raise makes perfect sense too, Cate's trying to fold out hands that might have equity against her and she's building a pot in case she hits a straight. - [Chris] You might not know this about Cate Hall, she was actually raised by a pack of wild armadillos in western Texas. - [Joe] I did not know that. - [Chris] No, she just left her sheet blank so I'm just making stuff up. - [Joe] Oh, I see. - [Chris] It's one of my hobbies. Gavin calls, turn comes queen so still just fours with the draw for Cate Hall. - [Joe] Pretty safe card for pocket kings. [Chris] See if she keeps the pressure on. - [Joe] Yeah when Cate bets again she's really only repping sets and over pairs. - [Chris] 2300. - [Joe] Sets are hard to make and there's only one over pair Gavin's worried about. But again Cate Hall's always got that backup plan, make the straight. - [Chris] Call from Gavin. - [Joe] Oh no. - [Chris] It is get there time for Cate Hall. - [Joe] Kings cracked. - [Chris] Cate Hall with the steely stare of course learned that from mother armadillo Tracy. You ever try to stare down an armadillo? - [Joe] I haven't. - [Chris] You can't. - [Joe] And I won't - [Chris] It's impossible. - All in. - [Joe] I won't try to stare down Cate Hall either she has put Lexy Gavin in a really tough spot. - [Chris] Isn't poker fun. - I would be involved in a 20k pot in like the first hour. - It's been like, don't worry don't worry, it's fine. (laughs) - [Player] Happens. - This is all your fault. (laughs) Anyway I guess I'm the one that threw that pray. So really, (censor beep). Sorry, please bleep that out. (laughs) - [Player] You literally have all day. - I literally have all day, I don't know how I... Please bleep that, oh my god Cate. - Guess I should've bet less. - [Joe] This has got to be a really tough fold to make there aren't a ton of value hands out there the way the pre flop action went. But Cate has told a consistent story and all the draws that could've come in did come in. - Nice hand. - [Chris] Ah, she let's it go. - Show the bluff. - [Joe] Not a bluff. - [Chris] Cate will not let her off the hook. - [Joe] Just tell her. - Nice. - I'm really curious what you had. - In law school I used to take the back row so that I could play Sit & Go's while lecture was going on. - [Chris] Ah the American education system, always doing us proud. - [Joe] That's one way to pay off your student loans. (laughs) - Jamie straddling this hand, she's putting in 100 blinds so she gets last action before the flop. - [Chris] Cate Hall raises. Gavin calls with Queens. - [Joe] Interesting, no three bet. - [Chris] Abernathy calls. Alright, so three players to the flop, just over a grand in the middle. - [Joe] Man I do not like queen's chances here. - [Chris] Flop is six nine six, how 'bout now? - [Joe] Actually pretty good flop for queens. (laughs) - [Chris] Abernathy checks. - [Joe] Cate Hall was the original raiser. - [Chris] Hall bets 450 over to Gavin. She calls with queens. - [Joe] That is a pretty loose float from Sam. - [Chris] I mean I'll look inside Samantha Abernathy's head, heart heart heart heart heart heart. King, king-- - [Joe] Or just a king. Just kidding about that loose float. Cate might think this turn cards are going to bluff acts is people really shouldn't be calling the flop with too many random kings. - [Chris] And great, now the game's going to the dogs. (laughs) - [Joe] You know if Natasha couldn't go an entire poker session without cuddling a stuffed animal or having her boyfriend sitting in her lap people would think she's weird, bring a dog to the table, everybody loves you. - [Chris] Oh, who's good girl. - [Joe] Give it a rest Hanson. - [Chris] I'm talking to the dog. - [Joe] Lexy Gavin once again in a position to possibly have to fold a big pocket pair now Cate doesn't have her beat but Sam does. - [Chris] So there's the call, and now Samantha Abernathy has some deciding to do. - [Joe] I think Sam has to just call. She does, if Sam were to raise there she'd probably only get action from a six or some other hand that had her beat. - I didn't need to raise any more. - Yeah. - [Chris] Alright so here we go, 6,700 in the middle, still three players to the river. - [Joe] That three is an absolute brick. The second round of March Madness really proved the tournament's namesake as we saw some pretty big seeding upsets especially in the east. We also witnessed a ton of games that were much closer than they should have been. I've been tasked with breaking down Friday's Sweet 16 games that feature the East and South regions and I'll start with the one that busted just about everybody's bracket the East.
Although the Badgers were likely mis-seated their second-round win over the defending champs was relatively unexpected. They'll use the momentum gained from that major upset take on Florida in the Sweet 16 game that opened with the fourth-seeded Gators favored by a point and a half. A serious advantage for the Gators in this one is a three-point shooting arsenal that's seventh in the nation in shooting percentage as well as sixth in the nation in threes made. Wisconsin has been vulnerable to the three ball all year so if Florida gets hot from deep this one could be over in a hurry. I like Florida as a small favorite in this spot and I'll take them laying the points. Next up we have a battle between the Baylor Bears and the Duke Blue Devils, just kidding, Duke blew it, the team that beat them the South Carolina Gamecocks will get the chance to advance to the Elite Eight for the first time in their school history after putting up an insane 65 points in the second half of their second-round upset of the most talented team in the country. They will however face a much stiffer test against the Baylor team that owns the 18th best scoring defense in the nation. Baylor opened as a three and a half point favorite and I'll be jumping all over that line. Both teams strengths are at the defensive end of the floor but South Carolina is much better at defending the three than they are the two. I think Baylor's big men go to work in this one and help the Bears advance to the second half of the tournament. In the South it's nothing but chalk but that doesn't mean it's going to stay that way. North Carolina barely escaped disaster against Arkansas in their last game and Kentucky was nearly knocked off the stage by Wichita State. Before the tournament started I guess the Tar Heels would beat the Butler Bulldogs in Sweet 16 and as the UNC fan this matchup worries me. Bulter is a well-rounded team that doesn't do anything extraordinarily well but that also doesn't do anything to jeopardize their success. North Carolina opened as a seven point favorite and with the ACC struggling to cover the spread, with a 2-13 ATS record during March Madness this year I'll be hopping on Butler with the points. The other game in the south between UCLA and Kentucky is likely going to be the best one of all the Sweet 16 matchup it will be a battle of young guards and with the number one and number eight scoring offense is going head to head it's probably going to be a shootout. This game is basically the definition of a toss-up and bookmakers agree opening it as a pick'em. That said I think John Calipari gives the Wildcats the edge here and I'll be backing them as long as the line stays close to even. Invest in a decent book cover. I hate book covers with grainy photos and red letters typed over them in bold fonts. I also hate monotone book covers that are all one color with the title at the top and the author’s name at the bottom. These are definite signs of novices! Most POD companies have some sort of automated book cover design program with stock images. Don’t use their stock images! If you do, just know there will be other books out there that have the same cover as yours. I budgeted for and invested in book cover software for my second book and it paid for itself in six months after the book was released. I also used it for my third and fourth books and lent my help to other authors for a small fee. Research your options or hire a graphic designer for assistance.
Edit! Most POD companies offer some sort of editing service, but it can be quite pricey. If you can’t afford to hire an editor, at least have a smart friend or two read over the manuscript and look for mistakes and misspelled words. Don’t think that your own eyes will catch everything, no matter how many times you read your own book. I’m guilty of doing that myself, and readers were quick to point out my mistakes. Sure, traditional books even have mistakes in them and some are always going to slip through, but if your book is full of mistakes and errors it can be a big turn off to the reader, and to reviewers! Format your book properly and follow the rules! I have never, never, NEVER seen a traditionally published book that lacked right margin justification and I’m tired of self-published authors telling me that they did it that way because it’s easier to read. No, you didn’t follow the rules because you didn’t do your homework, or you don’t know how. I know that’s harsh, but it’s the truth and it’s one reason I will turn down a book for review right away. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, go into a bookstore or go to your bookshelf and select 10 traditionally published books from the genre you plan to write in – horror, mystery, thriller, romance, whatever. Study the layout and format of each. What do they have in common? What makes them different? Chances are their front matter contains a title page, dedication page, copyright page, etc. Where are the page numbers? Do the pages have headers? Where does the body of text start and end on each page? Whatever all ten books have in common, chances are your book should have that in common too. Learn the benefits of the software you are using to create your book and learn how to format, or get someone to help!
Don’t be a POD snob! That means don’t assume that just because your book is available on Amazon now, that you are any more special than any other author. Unless you are Amanda Hocking and making millions from your self-published book then you are in the same boat with the rest of us and being a snob will get you pushed into the water. Be able to accept criticism and never NEVER attack reviewers just because you don’t agree with what they said about your book. Self-published authors standing on soap boxes are generally full of hot air. If you are visiting forums or book blogs, you should be prepared to participate in more ways than just self promotion. Don’t just stop in and say “Read my book!” and then leave. Don’t believe me? Check out the self-promotion forums in the POD community and decide for yourself how many of those authors actually get read. Be professional, and know that sometimes you should be quiet. You should also be willing to give back, which leads to… Before considering self-publishing, read a few self published books. It is a good advice to write an essay to look at the book from the side of critic. Particularly ones published through the same company you are going to publish with. Get to know the product! Also, read reference books about self publishing. There are lots of helpful books out there! As Stephen King points out in his book On Writing, when you aren’t writing you should be reading. Learn the Ebook market! That’s right! Sure, go ahead and publish in paperback or hardcover but Ebooks are where you are going to make your money these days. And there’s a whole new set of rules to follow when E-publishing. there’s lots of options out there and each has its own publishing format and interface. Be prepared to invest the time to do it right! And again, study the market and the genre your book belongs in. See what’s selling and what isn’t. And pay attention to pricing. Readers love the 99 cent Ebook! And you’ll probably make more money from Ebooks at that price than you will with your overpriced paperback anyway.
Understand that physical bookstores are not your friends. In fact, most of them hate authors, especially self-published authors who come into the store with a chip on their shoulder and expect the store to let them do a signing there. Unless your name is James Patterson or Dean Koontz or J.K. Rowling, booksellers don’t want to talk to you. And never, NEVER call a bookstore and try to promote yourself over the phone! They don’t have time to talk to you. Almost all bookstores expect a discount so that they can sell a book and make a profit. With almost all self-published books, companies charge all customers list price so there is no discount for bookstores. Or there’s no distribution of your book through wholesale channels for chain bookstores to be able to get your book anyway. And if there is, the book is usually sold non-returnable so a chain bookstore will require pre-payment. Sure, there are other options out there, but that goes back to a whole new way of self-publishing so that your book is available through these channels, and that would mean a whole other top ten list, right? So for now, just know….bookstores aren’t always your friend. Sure, there are exceptions here. Maybe your local indie store loves you and you know the lady behind the counter because she goes to church with your grandmother and she told you she’d love to have you in for a signing. That’s great! Let us know when you sell a thousand copies at that venue. |
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